The smell of truth getting defeated (Middag)

My thoughts seem to possess their own will
Logic fails me
The right thing to do is obvious,
yet I am held back by something I can't control.
For my whole life I've always observed,
watched from some distance
let events play themselves out.
Now this will defeat me.

I am now close to what I want
but time is flowing against me.
Another chance will take months.
I know I must act now,
yet I will observe and wait,
like I always have....

Sadness is embodied in this emotion,
at least in this stage of it.
Every time I'm close to her is filled with joy
I want more... and I think I can get it
but I am held back.
Nothing is stopping me, all signs are there
but I can't take the final step.

Days have passed, merged into months
All there is left are memories.
I will end up having nothing more
than the grief of my failure to act
and the sad happiness of what I have.

I have one last chance now
before we get separated
I must realize I have nothing to lose
To act is my only option
Time and I are playing cards
and I think it is winning.
It always has
All due to my inability to stake