Realizing the Land of Wonders Contained More Sadness (Kvelding)

Censored by Bodström

Splitting up (Kvelding)

Censored by Pontén

The smell of truth getting defeated (Middag)

My thoughts seem to possess their own will
Logic fails me
The right thing to do is obvious,
yet I am held back by something I can't control.
For my whole life I've always observed,
watched from some distance
let events play themselves out.
Now this will defeat me.

I am now close to what I want
but time is flowing against me.
Another chance will take months.
I know I must act now,
yet I will observe and wait,
like I always have....

Sadness is embodied in this emotion,
at least in this stage of it.
Every time I'm close to her is filled with joy
I want more... and I think I can get it
but I am held back.
Nothing is stopping me, all signs are there
but I can't take the final step.

Days have passed, merged into months
All there is left are memories.
I will end up having nothing more
than the grief of my failure to act
and the sad happiness of what I have.

I have one last chance now
before we get separated
I must realize I have nothing to lose
To act is my only option
Time and I are playing cards
and I think it is winning.
It always has
All due to my inability to stake

First departure (Kvelding)

... and so your presence was taken away, yet thy sorrows were left here. For a year we've known eachother now. I prey the worries won't accompany you on the journey, for I won't be able to catch you in the event that you fall. You have looked forward to this for a long time, and I hope everything will go well. There has been enough pain for a lifetime now these past months. I've felt that the aura of death has been very close multiple times, and it has been a balance on the edge for a long time. Leave thy problems here and succumb new strength and sleep.

At home we'll have to entertain ourselves and make sure nothing new arise. It will take time to sort everything out and make sure it turns out well, but the path is set and we'll just have to see to it that no one falls out from it. Now, have fun and relax. You've earned it more than anyone else.

Random blabber that noone gives a hoot about (Kvelding)

This feeling won't dissapear. Feels somewhat like a big chunk of sadness in my chest. Been here since yesterday. I feel... lonely, and yet it doesn't feel like the absence of people around me is the case. What you think will make things better usually also relates to the cause of the problem, but not really this time. I suppose the lack of joy that I'm currently experiencing simply is because there hasn't been much joyful things that's happened lately. I might also be affected by the pain of others. This could be a good thing too, I suppose. Serious things are happening, and it's actually surprising that I don't feel more down than I do. Still, I've got the feeling that this is just temporary, and with any luck I've shaken off this feeling in a few days.

I just wonder why... It could be that it's been a while since our last movie-night, and I have grown to enjoy the company of my friends quite a bit. One year ago I only saw problems in school, but now I've grown to look forward to it. Of course, beginning College (or whatever I'm attending to is called in English) makes school far more challanging now than before, but I also just love the people here. I look forward to meet them. I would not have belived that one year ago. It is just a pity I'm always so tired, and that the days pass so quick... I only have one more "real" day of school, and then I will have two months of lonliness. A pity you can't combine freetime and time with all your friends (since some will be gone, and we're not exactly known for our ability to coordinate things such as meetings :P ).

I will just have to prey that things will be better for the people around me, and that I can be with the people I want to be with during the summer.

Waiting in despair (Kvelding)

Possessing knowledge I should not know.
Waiting and preying the darkness won't succeed.
Signs of the truth plotting the future.
I do not know whether I should act or observe.
Maybe this will solve itself?
Should I be wrong, an endless tunnel of pain will emerge
effecting everyone
And it will be but the start of the nightmare that will follow.
Why won't he notice our friendship?
Why won't he realize the concequences?
Why has it turned out like this?

I must not let it happen.